On the verge

I am on the verge of a breakthrough. I don’t know what will happen, but I can feel it. It is like rain in the distance coming closer. I don’t know how far away it is, I just know it is coming. I can feel it in the wind and smell it in the air.

I want so much to be free in TPRS. I want to be so free that I don’t even call it TPRS, but rather language acquistion. I want to find teaching personna in all of this. It is something that takes time and I know that I am impatient.

I like the move The Matrix. It has so many analogies for life. I feel like so many people talk about what TPRS is. I hear the experts talk about what they see and feel when they tell stories. It is like there is this matrix out there that they see and is alive to them. They know exactly where to go with the CI. I don’t want to be like these experienced teachers. I just want to get to a point where I can see the matrix and know where to go with the CI.

I have to stop beating myself up about learning TPRS. I have this feeling that if I can’t get it, I will somehow be a failure at what I do. I need to understand that it is by letting go, that I will find where I need to be. That is such a hard thing, especially in teaching.

I can see the rain clouds in the distance, but I don’t how fast they are coming or what it will be like. All I know is that I want it to come.

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